Tears, Fears, and Changes

Letting someone into your life is difficult.  But even so knowing that you might not ever see them again once you get close to them is terrifying.  People I know who I have gone on previous trips with CGA said when they had to leave, the tears came streaming down their face.  And when they talk about the memories and the time they had there, they still tear up.  They fell in love with the kids and I am scared to do that. To me the most difficult part of this experience is letting the people of Tanzania into my heart.  I don’t want to lose them, and most people on going on this journey are just as scared as me to open up our hearts.  So although it seems scary to lose my new friendships, I think it's just going to be extremely difficult.  And it's hard for me to cry so that's even harder.

 

On, a brighter note, my biggest fear is the food and new cultures.  I am used to eating cereal for breakfast and don’t have a huge variety of food that I like.  Although I can’t wait to try the food, I also am scared I won’t like it.  I’m not a big fruit and tea person and those are large parts of their diets.  So I guess my taste buds will have to deal with the new menu options.  I am also afraid of seeing people without much of a house or even a bed and some blankets.  That's one of the reasons I can't wait for this trip, to see the smiles when we help improve the children's ways of living.

I think after this trip I will be more thankful for what I have.  I wake up in the morning and I get out of my bed like its nothing, when for them it would be everything.  For some of the kids without parents they would love to have someone who bugs them about what they did at school and why they got a low grade on a test.  I am so used to having my nagging parents and my bed that I don’t realize some people don’t have that.  I believe when I get home I will stop taking things for granted and start being thankful for everything that I have. 

I know that this trip will change my life for the better.  And as I am learning Swahili and working towards my fundraising goals, I am also finally understanding how lucky I am to have what I have, and also how scared I am to change my diet for two weeks.  I hope everyone has a fantastic new year, I know I will!